Book Review | Devoted Citizen by Ps. Chris Mathebula

Disclaimer: This book is written by a South African for South Africans. Many of the examples may not make sense to those living outside of South Africa but still within this book are some very important qualities for being a devoted citizen to any country where a person resides.

Published: June 2021
Pages: 192
Pace: Fast
Genre: Non-Fiction

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Ps. Chris Mathebula wrote Devoted Citizen at a time where the message of the book is relevant and important. In South Africa, we face many challenges that are enormous in their scope and in their effect. As such, we need citizens who will choose to look at what makes South Africa so incredible, put their differences aside and make choices that will benefit the country as a whole. If we all chose to do that, our country would look vastly different. There is something special about South Africa that fills our hearts with pride and causes us to feel patriotic. This book inspires those same feelings.

Devoted Citizen sets out to inspire our younger generations to make choices that will benefit our country and our people as a whole. It takes a holistic view of our country and simply communicates the message that everyone is able to live their lives the way they choose to, but if we really want to see a change in our country, it will take all of us choosing the right way instead of our own way. This book touches on many aspects of being a devoted citizen such as paying taxes, voting, knowing our rights and responsibilities, protecting the environment, acting ethically, embracing change and many more. Ps. Chris writes, “I realised that I have to remind South Africans that we have everything we need to succeed.” (page 35) I totally agree with Ps. Chris’s sentiment. We are a rich country. We are rich in heritage and culture and beauty and intelligence and talent and love and resources and creativity. We have everything we need to succeed. 

As a citizen of this country, I am fully invested. I believe in her people. I believe in her potential. Because of this, when things are not going well, it really upsets me and makes me heartsore. This book highlights some of those challenges and reminds the reader of the many challenges that still face our country. Some of these major issues are teenage pregnancies, high unemployment rates, corruption in government, wasteful expenditure and crime to name a few. It’s important not to lose sight of these challenges. But at the same time, this book is a reminder that there are things that we can do to effect change in those same challenges. Some of those things are as simple as starting to care about our country and about other people.

I loved the simplistic writing style. As this book is geared towards students, the content is simply laid out and written in an engaging way. There are many short chapters, each one packed with a punch of a thought. As easy as the book was to read, there was a lot to take in and the book forces you to do an evaluation of where you fit in on the devoted citizen scale. It takes one decision to be a devoted citizen, but that one decision has many implications and applications. 

I really enjoyed how Ps. Chris used stories from his own life to encourage and inspire change. He uses stories to illustrate how our thinking can be the defining factor for us. I really enjoyed how he went back to the basics and wrote out our national anthem and translated it so we could see the beauty of its words. Equally, it was so informative the way our coat of arms was broken down and explained. These are things some people can go their whole lives without knowing. My favourite chapter of the book must be the chapter where Ps. Chris celebrates South Africa and some of the incredible things going on and some of the most impressive endeavours and achievements. What pride and UBUNTU these events and moments bring out in us. When we won the Rugby World Cup, no one cared about colour or class or upbringing. Everyone was a brother and a sister that day and this is the South Africa I, and many others, long to see every day. 

As much as I love this book and all it stands for and all it communicates, I had one small grievance. Some of the topics that are covered are so massive. These issues destroy lives and impact the whole country. As such, I felt like the solutions or actions could have been fleshed out a bit more. I thought the solutions felt more like one-liners than real impetuses for change. As such, I feel like they would be easy to gloss over and not to truly adopt a positive attitude that will result in change in that area. My evaluation is that someone could read this book and say that’s nice but I’m not really in the mood to change. That would be a real shame since the message of this book is so pure and wonderful and inspirational. An example of this can be found in Chapter 7. Ps. Chris addresses the issue of women having many pregnancies and having children in order to get social grants. He then talks about how this grant money is often wasted and not even used to take care of the children. He explains how grants are government money and by needing social grants, these women are costing the state money. And then he finishes off the section by simply stating, “Devoted Citizens take responsibility in making personal decisions that will not negatively impact the nation.” I think more vision and hope could have been instilled in this section as that one-liner would not necessarily inspire someone living that way to just do a 180 and make better life choices. 

Other than that one small gripe with the way the book was presented, I loved everything it stands for and everything it is communicating. I hope this book gets into as many young South Africans’ hands as possible so that their thinking can be formed and influenced positively as they enter adulthood and start to make a contribution to society and the country. Ps. Chris does have a way of writing that is engaging and inspirational and what’s even better is that his life reflects all the values that are explored in this book. He walks the talk and that adds massive credibility to this message. 

This book has definitely inspired me to evaluate myself and how devoted I am to my country and if I am making choices that will ultimately help or harm the nation. It’s even important to realise that my actions do have an impact, whether it seems that way or not. I do try and live in such a way that I do all that is expected of me as a citizen of our country but there is still more that could be done. For example, I could work harder on protecting our environment by recycling. We haven’t prioritized recycling in our home and that’s an easy thing we could start to do in order to contribute to a cleaner environment. It has also caused me to put my citizens contribution on my radar as something to evaluate more closely. This book was a quick and easy but important read. I love that a book like this exists and I hope that it is able to have the desired effect as it has done with me. 

Until next time! 😊
Chevonn

Book Review | Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

Disclaimer: This book is based on Christian principles and scripture from the Bible. I am a Christian and hold to Christian ideals which informed my opinion of this book.

Published: October 1992
Pages: 314
Genre: Self Help, Non-Fiction, Psychology

Rating: 5 out of 5.

I chose to read Boundaries because it was a subject that I had not ever given any real thought to. It was brought up in a conversation I was having, and I thought it would be really beneficial to read something that could equip me with how I can better navigate the various relationships in my life. This was especially important to me as an adult person so that I don’t continue to feel like I am unable to have a say in what I do and when and with who. Boundaries is such an important aspect of our human experience. It is the way we interact with others and navigate our way through life. The problem, though, is that many people aren’t aware that these boundaries exist and that they actually do have a choice because no choices may have been given when they were children. Many boundary issues seem to stem from childhood. This happens when children are not taught how to set boundaries, or even if they did try to establish boundaries, their boundaries were not accepted and honoured. 

Boundaries endeavours to equip the reader with how to recognise and set boundaries in the various aspects of life. There are physical, mental, emotional and spiritual boundaries that should be in place in each person’s life. They are the way we define who we are and who we are not. When these boundaries are not in place, people find themselves getting frustrated and resentful, getting hurt and ultimately living miserably. 

“Good boundaries prevent resentment.”

page 128

In this book we learn about four different kinds of boundaries. Physical boundaries are about who can touch us and under which circumstances. Mental boundaries help us to have our own thoughts and opinions. Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful and manipulative emotions of others. Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God’s will from our own. 

I loved everything about this book. Everything from the relatable examples given, to seeing verses and stories from Scripture in a new light to the explanations of how we grow and develop from infancy and where the critical stages are for boundary setting. One thing that is clear from this book is that once we reach adulthood though, we are free to set boundaries and make choices about what we will and will not allow.

 “Just as homeowners set physical property lines around their land, we need to set mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual boundaries for our lives to help us distinguish what is our responsibility and what isn’t.” 

Page 23

An important word there is responsibility. As adults, we have to take responsibility for ourselves. We cannot control what others do or say, but we can control what we do, say and allow. In conflicts, for example, people are allowed to say they will not allow the other person to scream and shout at them. So they are going to leave the house and go and stay with someone else for a few hours, and when the angry person is calmer and can speak normally again, then the conflict resolution can continue. These kinds of examples were so eye-opening to me because there are certain relationships in my life that have so conditioned me to react and behave in a certain way (read become compliant) and I’ve never appropriated the fact that I can actually say no or choose not to tolerate bad behaviour that’s directed at me. And even in the cases where I can’t change the situation, I definitely don’t need to take responsibility for or own someone else’s reactions or emotions for them. This has been a huge revelation for me. I am only responsible for myself and no other person’s behaviour. 

As a parent, this book has caused me to evaluate how I am as a parent with regards to boundary setting and allowing my children to do the same. I hope to do everything possible to teach them to set strong, healthy boundaries for themselves so that they can grow into mature and healthy adults that know how to navigate relationships well. I wish I had read this book when I was much younger but now that I have, I feel equipped to be able to help my children to grow up with a good understanding of boundaries.

“Developing boundaries in young children is that proverbial ounce of prevention. If we teach responsibility, limit setting, and delay of gratification early on, the smoother our children’s later years of life will be.”

Page 168

I also really enjoyed how this book explored boundaries with all the various relationships we have in our lives like our families, our friends, our spouses, our children, work, ourselves and even with God. One theme that ran throughout is that, where boundaries aren’t yet in place or strong, setting boundaries won’t be easy. It often results in hurt, frustration, conflict and in some cases even the loss of certain relationships. The authors explain that as difficult as that is, it will cause us to be better and healthier in the long run. Because of this, Cloud suggests, “No matter how much you talk to yourself, read, study, or practice, you can’t develop or set boundaries apart from supportive relationships with God and others. Don’t even try to start setting limits until you have entered into deep, abiding attachments with people who will love you no matter what.” (page 62) So it is important for us to have strong attachments and to first practice setting boundaries with those closest to us as they would be the likeliest to love us and honour our boundaries. And then as we get more confident at setting boundaries, we can start to extend into other relationships. 

Another important thought that I came across was this idea that we even need to have boundaries with ourselves. These are boundaries which are the most obvious when they aren’t in place. These areas of our lives include eating, money, time, our sexuality, our words and our ability to finish tasks we have started. When we aren’t in a healthy space, these are the areas where it shows. This also helps to flag for ourselves when we are not being good about sticking within our boundaries. Ultimately, setting boundaries in all the areas of our lives is for our own health and safety. 

Something I had never considered until I came across it in this book is the fact that God has boundaries. It obviously makes sense and it’s obviously true since God can’t be manipulated and controlled, but it’s still an incredible thought. And we are made in His image. Not only that, but we have more than enough guidance from the Bible about how important and necessary boundaries are. So this is just another way of embracing the way God made us and being a good steward of what He has given us and ultimately we become like Him. 

There was an extraordinary amount of helpful teaching in this book. I am so glad I have read it and that I can now move forward with a much better understanding of boundaries. I regret that I had not encountered this material sooner but I am grateful to be able to take it with me as I continue to grow and learn. 

I would recommend this book to everybody. I believe all people should be equipped with the truths about boundaries and that we all have a choice in what we allow or don’t allow. This would result in healthier people who then contribute in a healthy way to their families, work spaces, churches and social groups. It takes serious humility to also be able to accept somebody else’s boundaries and accept a no from other people. To me this is just another sign of maturity and health though. We should not want to control and manipulate people as this is not a good reflection on God who we represent. The writing is nice and simple and easy to understand, which makes the content easy to digest.

Going forward, I will be more intentional about setting healthy boundaries for myself. I will need to remember that I don’t have to take responsibility for other people’s reactions and emotions. I will also endeavour to raise children who understand boundaries and are able to set them and hold to them, as well as accept them from others. I will be much more aware of other people’s boundaries and where I may sometimes cause people to overstep their own boundaries. I will work hard to undo behaviours in myself that would seek to manipulate others. I would never want to intentionally hurt people or put them in awkward situations. This was a really phenomenal read and I have much to process and implement.

To add this book to your Goodreads list, click here.

Until next time! 😊
Chevonn

Book Review | It Will Be Ok by Lisa Katzenberger

I would like to thank Penguin Random House South Africa for a review copy of this heartwarming book!

Published: April 2021
Pages: ±30
Genre: Children’s

Rating: 5 out of 5.

On the cover it says, “A story of empathy, kindness and friendship” and I was already in love. Those are virtues we need way more of in the world and so I was really excited to see a children’s book with a focus on this.

This book follows two friends, Zebra and Giraffe. They walk together to the watering hole everyday until today. Giraffe is stuck up on a tree because he is terrified of a spider. Instead of judging Giraffe or getting frustrated, Zebra shows Giraffe incredible kindness by trying to encourage him. When that doesn’t work, he patiently stands by and waits, which causes his friend to realise what true friendship looks like.

As a parent, this is exactly the kind of narratives I want to be exposing my children to. In a world as broken as ours, I want my children to be kind.

The back of the book has short helpful tips which will help kids to know what to do if they are feeling anxious or worried or if their friend is feeling anxious or worried and the answer is always to have empathy.

This book is filled with absolutely beautiful illustrations, bright colours and such amazing characters. I would recommend this read for anyone who wants to start to instil these incredible values into children in their lives.

This book is recommended for children ages 4 and up and we highly recommend this book.

Until next time! 😊
Chevonn

Book Review | How Many Ways Can You Say Goodbye by Refiloe Moahloli

Thank you so much to Penguin Random House South Africa for a review copy of the gorgeous book.

Published: March 2021
Pages: ±30
Genre: Children’s

Rating: 5 out of 5.

About the book – from the Penguin website:

After Sara and her friends had an exciting journey in a hot air balloon to see the country and find out how to say ‘hello’ in How Many Ways Can You Say Hello?, they are making a return trip across South Africa to see more sights and to drop off the friends, one by one. As they do so, they also need to find out how to say ‘goodbye’ to one another in all of the country’s 11 official languages.

But just as Sara starts to feel sad, she discovers that ‘goodbye’ can be the start of something new, something wonderful. Join her and find this out for yourself too.

This is another delightful story of rhyming verse, accompanied by charming illustrations, and a must for all young South African children. And if parents/grandparents/carers aren’t sure how to pronounce ‘goodbye’ in all 11 official languages, there is a digital link to the text, narrated by the author herself, to guide with authentic pronunciation.

My son absolutely loves this book. It’s a hardcover book of 30 pages. Within it’s pages is a wonderful journey of friends saying goodbye in their home languages – which are all South African languages. What’s particularly special is that one can scan a QR code in the front of the book which allows you to listen to the author herself reading the story. This is such a special touch and one of the biggest reasons my son loves this book.

The illustrations are adorable and colourful and add such character to this story. Obviously it’s also always nice to see and hear the names of places that you recognise from your own country.

Overall, we highly recommend this gorgeous South African book with authentic pronunciation and beautiful pictures.

If you would like to grab a copy for any little ones in your life, click here.


Refiloe Moahloli grew up in Mthatha in the Eastern Cape. As aunt to many nieces and nephews who consider her to be ‘one of them’ due to her modest height, life with them inspires a number of stories floating in her head at any given time. Now a full-time writer, her life is a far cry from her former career in the world of information systems and corporate telecoms. Refiloe plays hockey, is a keen Instagrammer and is a full-time couch coach of South Africa’s cricket teams.

Author website: www.refiloemoahloli.com


Until next time! 😊
Chevonn